PERSONAL NOTE: I decided to share my book with my friends and students in mainland China because the book is not available in China. It is too expensive to order one from USA. Enjoy it and share it with your friends. Steve, usa, december 12, 2018 stephenehling@hotmail
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A recent headline in Mail & Guardian (a South African weekly newspaper) talks about how today “China Embraces love hotels”. It says, “The country is witnessing a sexual revolution and business is booming for short-stay hotels.”
I once happened to watch an informative documentary about love hotels in Japan, and learned that the name “love hotel” could be traced to Hotel Love, built in 1968 in Osaka, Japan. In reality the modern love hotels have their roots in Japanese tea rooms used by prostitutes and their clients, and also by lovers. Hotel operators have different names for the same thing: boutique hotel, fashion hotel, leisure hotel, amusement hotel, couples hotel, and romance hotel. A love hotel in this documentary is simply a place where an individual or a couple, young and old, can go and enjoy an evening of enhanced sexual activities in a private room of your choice. The ones I saw must not be cheap but high-end hotels with colorful, romantic rooms, equipped with rotating beds, ceiling mirrors, unusual lighting, and some with karaoke machines. Not to worry, some of the sex toys can be ordered and paid using automatic cash machine, or pneumatic tube, or paying to a worker behind frosted glass. What intrigued me was the minimal interaction between hotel guests and people who worked in the establishment, and everything about the place was about privacy. Maximum privacy is the name of the game, with concealed parking lots, discreet entrances, and few windows.
And these Japanese high-end hotels, like many things Japanese, have spread to China’s cosmopolitan cities like Beijing and Shanghai. And they are far away from small college towns in the south of China where I was. Non-procreational sex is everywhere with or without love hotels, especially in neighborhoods outside many Chinese campuses.
When Chairman Mao Zedong took over and introduced a new China—communist China—in 1949, it was no secret that he would not tolerate non-procreational sex, and by the time he died in 1976, China had become the most populous nation in the world. Mao believed in strength and power in numbers, and women were encouraged to produce many children all to the glory of the motherland. In his thinking, “women hold up half the sky”.
Anything related to sex in China continues to surprise and shock me. Maybe I am still a prudish American despite many of my Chinese students thinking Americans have sex 25 hours a day! The Hollywood kind! James, my student, called me one Saturday,
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in fact it was early in the day, that he was not sure if his neighbors were having some kind of wild sex or they were simply watching a sex movie. Like most students who are preparing for some examinations—national or international, they would move out and rent a room outside the campus temporarily so they could concentrate on test preparations, away from the noisy students around them in their dormitory. This is China.
“What is the problem?” I asked him, now just as curious as James was about the horrible distraction he was facing.
“I think my neighbors are doing something bad and I could not study now,” James said, somewhat having a small crisis. In a room just next to his.
“Bad?” Why would James used the word ‘bad’?
“They are making a lot of noise.”
“Noise? What kind of noise?” I asked, innocently. I knew what he was saying.
“I think they are having some kind of wild sex.” Some uncertainty in his voice.
“I see. What do you think?”
“I am not sure exactly. But they are making too much noise and I could not…”
“Maybe you could go over and tell them to lower the volume of the TV,” I suggested, one way to solve the noise problem.
“But what?…So, you are not sure if they are watching some sex movies?” I was not there to hear it for myself.
“I think it is something bad, more than watching some Japanese porn movies. I could feel…”
“Feel what? You mean they are also doing it?”
“I could feel the bed shaking. I think they are having wild sex while watching the movies…I am telling you, the bed is shaking and I can feel the vibrations from their
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room. The wall is thin, you know.”
“Take a walk, ok? Or just enjoy it,” I said to James. I must be joking because James was a serious student and he really had to prepare for his coming postgraduate examinations to enter a graduate school. So why would I advise him to take a walk? Because a student once told me he took a walk after watching a Japanese sex movie, his way to avoid having to masturbate. I thought a smart idea, at the time.
I read a news report that some residents in a neighborhood outside a university somewhere in Shanghai were complaining to the police about students going in and out of certain residential buildings, obviously engaging in some sexual activities, and they wanted it stopped. I had no problem understanding it because it was happening in my immediate neighborhood, too. In a few neighborhoods outside my campus, many residential buildings had turned into hotels…with hourly rates posted at the entrances. How many hotels post hourly rates for potential clients? Outside my campus, many students go there to fuck their boyfriends or girlfriends or anyone willing to sell their bodies for some quick cash.
Ivan, a badminton champion and a top student, shared with me an incredible personal story about what his grandmother told him. She told him to find a girl with big breasts and big buttocks because she will give you a baby boy. Many Chinese boys told me what his grandmother said is true in China. You want to find a wife with big breasts and big buttocks to guarantee a male heir to your clan. So Ivan told me he found one on the campus. Except she refused to sleep with him or she was always afraid of coming too close to him.
“I ask her finally if we could sleep together,” he said. Did his grandmother also tell him to do that?
This was not Ivan’s first amorous adventure. He had done this to another girl, a music student, recently. He and the girl were taking some kind of music lessons. As far as I was concerned there was no difference sleeping in a hotel when the two of them were already having sex in their practice room on the campus. She played the piano and he was taking violin lessons. And they were using their practice room like a love hotel, fucking each other when both felt horny or when touching wasn’t enough. Soon they broke up? Sexual incompatibility? Or simply tired of each other.
Our conversation about the girl with the big breasts and buttocks continued. “Did she accept your invitation to sleep together?”
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“She is somehow very uncomfortable with me,” Ivan said, with an evil smile on his face.
“Maybe you look hungry and she could see it in your eyes or…” I said, jokingly. But I was also serious about it. A look can betray one’s true feelings or evil intentions lurking behind the eye glasses.
“Anyway, I told her I would not do anything to her, if she would sleep with me.”
“And what did she say to you…?”
“Of course, I tried and tried and finally one day she agreed to go with me to a hotel outside our campus.” The one with the hourly rates.
“Then about midnight I said something to her—“
“You are so bad.”
“I said to her if she wants sex I have condom with me. That it is ok with me. For a second, I thought she stopped breathing.”
Obviously he seemed to enjoy the teasing and ignored completely the surprise on her face. Or in her voice.
“How could you do this? You are not a gentleman. I thought you told her you would not have sex with her. How could she or anyone trust you again? Why did you do it?”
They broke up not long after this special rendezvous. The search for free sex continues.
As an American, I feel the Chinese youth of today has just as much if not more sexual freedom that the youth in America. As usual, I find the Chinese government policy on sexual matters to be unclear or a little ambiguous…some outsiders like to label this as “self-contradiction”, meaning, saying one thing and doing another thing. A student actually showed me on my desktop several websites in China, something about Sex Exhibition in the city of Guangzhou, in south China. An annual event. It has become
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so popular and well-attended by both the young and the old, anyone and everyone interested to see and buy anything and everything related to sexual performance, enhancement and enjoyment, that they plan to host this event in a few other major cities in China. And many dirty young and old men went there just to see the sexy girls showing and demonstrating some of these sexual products. Only two things were strictly prohibited in this so-called Sex Exhibition: sex movies and sex magazines. Another student volunteered: the Chinese government will decide the use of certain sex movies if they are “educational”. Educational? As a college professor, everything can be educational and informative, depending on one’s attitude about it. As far as the American Supreme Court, the highest court of our land is concerned…we must allow freedom of speech and expression, whether in books, paintings or movies. Therefore, the famous American Playboy magazine is available in our public libraries with proper IDs.
I saw this advertised on the internet for the 2016 Sex Toy Expo: “China’s biggest ‘Adult-Care Exhibition’ is all about adult toys, adult toys, and more adult toys. Also, some educational materials, lingerie, and ‘medical equipment’. Past years were attended by AV models and loads of dudes, though the event runs pretty tame these days and you aren’t likely to see as many scantily clad women as their website makes it seem.”
Today, China’s largely unregulated online lending market are getting into “the act” as seen in this report: “Chinese university students are using their own nude photos as collateral to borrow money from loan sharks, with the help of the country’s booming online lending market….The lenders threaten to contact their parents and make their photos public if they fail to pay back the loans.” Some would circulate the photos to make more money from innocent victims. Students in a city like Beijing would advertise for “sugar daddies” and “rent out” their bodies, both male and female, to the highest bidders for a specific amount for a specific length of time. Everything is negotiable! This is China.
The Chinese government still regulates sexuality to some degree. I was told by my students that a 53-year-old computer science professor was sentenced to three and half years in jail for organizing wife-swapping events. He broke the “group licentiousness law”. Censorship remains an issue in China. For example, the central government suspended the construction of a sex theme park in Chongqing, in southwest China, in May 2009, because of conservatism with regard to sex in China, and they thought it would have a negative influence on Chinese society. The park was to host an exhibition on the history of human sexuality, displays of giant genitalia and naked bodies. Granted more and more Chinese citizens, and many others around the
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world, now regard sexual rights as basic human rights. That everyone has the right and freedom to pursue his or her own sexual happiness.
An ex-student, who studied in Canada, and now back in China, working as an administrator in a school, told me this when I asked him about sex in China:
“Chinese people are very open to sex. They fuck everywhere. In university, teachers fuck students. Last week I heard about a teacher in a university in Nanchang…he had sex with numerous students since 2003. Horrible. He fucked the students in the office, laboratory, and even on the campus playground. Most do not want to share their views, opinions or ideas about sex. Why talk, just do it!”
This is China.